Captain Francisco Brochador (Crush niya si Sarah Palin)

He wanted to become a general in the Philippine Army so he tried his best to become a PMA Cadet. He took the PMA entrance examination many times but failed to pass. He did not lose hope, instead he pursued a degree in college and took an advanced training in ROTC. After completing his degree (Bachelor of Science in Education) he taught Social Studies and Philippine Culture in a private secondary school. Having completed an advanced training in ROTC, he became a military instructor also in one of the community colleges in his place. He joined the Army reservists with the rank of 2nd lieutenant. Not very long he was absorbed by the Philippine Army as a commissioned officer. He was assigned in Southern Philippines where he had seen action in the field. His troops of combat seasoned young soldiers had been ambushed by the rebels many times but prevailed upon them because of his military skills. He had captured rebel camps as well as high ranking rebel commanders which earned him the name “the Hunter.” Because of his achievements, he was awarded medals and later elevated to rank of captain in the Army. He was now slowly inching to his dream of becoming a general like the late General Favian Ver, his idol. But luck was not on his side always, while pursuing a band of rebels they were ambushed leaving him only alive but severely wounded. He left the army with an amputated leg and returned to civilian life with a prosthesis to be able to walk.

He returned to teaching, but this time in college teaching history, Philippine Government and Constitution, and Ethics. His students loved him very much because he never failed anyone in his class. His teaching philosophy, “everybody is a genius but you have to find the way.” And he proved himself right because all his students were highly motivated to learn. In fact many of his students became politicians and were elected to various positions from a mere Barangay Chairman to an honorable  Mayor of a town. Despite his physical infirmities his male students idolized him so much because of his heroic acts in the army, humiliy, good public relations, and commitment to service. In fact he even completed a doctorate degree in education to make himself more credible and effective as a college mentor.

But Captain Francisco Brochador is a lonely man. His only girlfriend Arsenia ‘Sen’ Makapakapa married an African American she met in Luneta while applying for a visitor’s visa at the US Embassy. She broke relationship with Captain Brochador when she learned her fiancee had only “one foot” and one testicle as the result of that ambush which nearly caused his life. He could not find a replacement that could match Sen’s intelligence being a math and a science teacher, beauty for being a sexy and flawless mestiza, and strong appetite for sex. Since then Captain Brochador spent all his life teaching, studying, and coaching young people to lead a productive life. He was offered the position of a dean in a rival school but declined saying he could not just leave the school he learned to love which gave him another chance and restored his self-respect and his faith to God.

But Captain Brochador’s declining the offer of a rival school became instrumental to his designation as an acting dean of an academic unit in the university. Some old-maid faculty members had been trying to attract his attention but sorry for them they were not his type of a woman. Captain Brochador’s type of a woman is one who looks like governor Vilma Santos of Batangas, or the defeated US vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin. Everytime some middle age professors reminded him of marriage he would always tell them, “I haven’t found yet one who looks like Sarah Palin.”

His statement reached Dr. Hillary Clintorianos, the newly appointed vice-president of the university and a member of the board of regents. She heard a lot of things about Dr. Francis (Captain Brochador) and since then became interested with him. Already 45 years old, but still a pretty and sexy mestiza, her only chance to catch the last trip was Captain Brochador. Her close friends have been teasing her that Captain Brochador would be a perfect match to her. 

“But he has only one foot,” she whispered to her friends.

“Better he has one foot, my husband has only 4 inches,” said Dr. Pacing.

Laughter.

“Okay, but he likes his woman to look like Sarah Palin,” Dr. Hillary Clintorianos giggled.

“Never mind, you look like Vilma Santos naman,” Professor Caring Obayaam laughed.

But Dr. Elvie Makapain had a better idea. “Hey, Hillary why don’t you make yourself a look a like of Sarah Palin, after all you look more of a white American than a Filipino.”

Laughter again.

But Dr. Hillary Clintorianos had already a plan. She left her office before 5:00 P.M. and went to her favorite beauty parlor. She carried with her a picture of Sarah Palin.

(To be Continued)

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9 Responses to “Captain Francisco Brochador (Crush niya si Sarah Palin)”

  1. KapitanKidlat Says:

    Malupit ang digmaan. Nagpapatayan ang mga tao. Mabuti at nagkaroon muli ng panibagong pag-asa itong si Captain Brochador dahil bumalik siya sa pagiging maestro. Ibang digmaan naman ang tinahak nitong si Captain Brochador, ang digmaan laban sa kamangmangan upang magkaroon ng magandang kinabukasan ang mga kabataan na siyang pag-asa ng bayan.

  2. KapitanKidlat Says:

    Everytime I read something about the academe, at times I become emotional. Nakaka-relate ako sa kuwento mo tungkol kay Dr. Brochador being once an academician. Okay itong kuwento mo, at aabangang ko kung magkakatuluyan itong dalawang professors.

  3. Colegiala girl Says:

    Mahilig ka talaga sa foot long Segundina, hehehe.

  4. kidlatanvillage Says:

    Si Mayor Jejomar Binay ng Makati City tatakbo daw siya para sa pagkapangulo ng 2010 presidential election. Is rin itong beterano, pero hindi sa World War 2 o sa Vietnam War. Beterano siya sa kalsada noong kasagsagan ng mga rally laban kay pangulong Marcos. Isa siyang better-run kapag binobomba na sila ng mga pulis at sundalo ng tubig at saka tear-gas. Pero may charisma ba siya katulad ni Obama, itong si Jo-bama Binay? http://kidlatanvillage.wordpress.com

  5. JoeSeg Says:

    Delikado na naman ang pinupuntahan ng kwentong ito. At katulad ni Kapitan K, kapag academe ang pinaguusapan, may biglang sumasagi sa aking alaala ang naging papel ko sa isang unibersidad noon. Pero hayaan muna nating mag “the end” itong kwento ni FB. Naunahan ako sa joke na one foot, ito na lang ipasok ko:

    Guy 1: Balita ko, maraming chicks sa iskul na ito at pwede pa raw, totoo ba yun?
    Guy 2: Lahat na iskul mayroong ganyan bossing. Kung gusto mo, bigyan kita ng isa. Batang bata, promdi at 4th year high school. Uubra sa 3K.
    Guy 1 – 3K? Mahal naman, yong medyo mura pero mas magaling, may experience na mas OKs. At ayaw ko ng estudiante, mahirap masabit sa menor de edad.
    Guy 2 – Mayroon din tayo nyan, at kahit 2K, papayag yun.
    Guy 1 – Oy sige, ayos yan. Tawagan mo lang ako sa celphone ko. Pero sure ka, experienced, mas mura at hindi estudiante, ha? Sino naman ito?
    Guy 2 – Yong principal.

  6. Colegiala girl Says:

    Tito Joe,
    Hahahahahahah, grabeh. Iyong principal pa! I remember iyong prinsipal namin noon high school pa ako, lagi kaming sinisermonan dahil sa pag-iingay. One time may nakakuwentohan naman siyang teacher malapit sa aming classroom tawa siya ng tawa at ang lakas niyang magsalita. Hindi naman makapalag ang adviser namin dahil prinisipal na itong nag-iingay. Dahil hindi ako makapag-concentrate sa test namin nagpaalam ako sa teacher na lumabas para mag-CR kunwari. Tamang-tama nakita na naman niya ako at sinitsitan. “What are you doing outside you are supposed to be in your classroom?” Ngumiti lang ako, “call of nature ma’am.” Tinignan niya ako sabay sabi, “what do you mean?” Hindi na ako nagpaligoy-ligoy pa, “naiihi na po ako.” Nagulat siya, “ha, e ano pa ang hinihintay mo takbo na baka dito ka pa magkalat.” Kunwari ay nag-CR ako, pagbalki ko nandoon pa rin siya tawa ng tawa. After a week lumabas iyong School Organ namin, may kuwentong isingit doon na nakalusot sa board of censor. Ang pamagat, “The Hard Laughing Ugly Chicken.” Hindi kilala kung sino ang nagsulat ng kuwento pero kilala ng lahat kung sino ang tinutukoy na “Ugly Chicken” doon. Kaso lagi akong umiiwas kapag nakakasalubong ko ang principal. Mahirap na, baka magtanong pa, hehehehe.

  7. JoeSeg Says:

    Salbahe ka palang bata ka, Colegiala Girl!

    Bweno, may segunda parte na itong kwento ni Segundina. Kaya kapag nakatutok dito kay Segundina, siguradong di natin tatantanang subaybayan.

  8. ginoray Says:

    ako lang ba ang bastos? kala ko kasi bastos ung kuwento pero parang wholesome ung mga comments. hehe…

  9. AppeabsLieria Says:

    Great Article , I thought it was tremendous

    I look ahead to more innovative postings like this one. Do you have a RSS I can subscribe to for anymore information from you?

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