Posts Tagged ‘sexual compatibility’

Amado Perlas, Arabong Pinoy

June 5, 2009

He left a good job in the Philippines to work abroad. Not because of money for they have more than enough (having a prosperous family business in the country) but to forget his grief and sorrows brought about by his separation to Olga, a childhood sweetheart who recently married a local Chinese in Manila.

Aboard the Northwest Airlines on his way to Japan for a connecting flight to Dubai, he could not hide his sorrows. He was crying with both  eyes were sated with tears. Other passengers in the airplane however were so kind not to mind him, they thought he was just too sad to leave a family.

But as soon as he arrived in Dubai and he started serving his two-year contract as a Computer Programmer little by little he learned to forget and of course to forgive. And Heaven rewarded him with a pretty and intelligent young woman working as a secretary. It was a love at first sight, though others may not be so convinced with their story.

They started exchanging notes and messages through internet and texting. After a few months of courtship they became sweethearts and later planned to marry after they finished their two-year working contract in Dubai. Ela was confident the wedding would push through since her sister Donita was already about to graduate as a nursing student. She’s the reason why she left also a job as a bank teller in Ayala, Makati.

For lovers like Amado and Ela, two years seemed too long to endure. As if it was an eternity of waiting. Amado was Ela’s first boyfriend. The young woman is a mestiza, she had never been kissed before and a certified virgin according to her relatives. That’s why Amado was so excited about their wedding. Heaven granted the wish of their heart. Their contract ended and they came back to the Philippines together.

At the Ninoy International Airport, their relatives were waiting for them. Having been forewarned about the wedding, both families met. Amado as usual was crying again, not because of pain but of  joy. Like Korina Sanches wiping off the tears rolling down Mar Roxas’ cheeks, Ela took out from her pocket what she thought as a handkerchief to wipe off Amado’s tears. But everybody laughed at her, it was too late to learn she was wiping his boyfriend’s tears with a pair of used socks.

And to cut the story short the wedding pushed through. It was officiated by a Baptist Pastor Ike Patao (not his real name). The couple invited friends, relatives from both sides, and even Amado’s former girlfriend and her husband. The couple however declined the invitation. The wedding ceremony was unforgetable as a well known Gospel singer in the country sang popular love and religious songs.

But as a family who love humor very much, Ela’s lolo Carpio asked this question to the guests. “Why did they nicknamed Amado as “Arabong Pinoy” by his friends in Dubai? Is it because he is in an Arab land or he has the size and diameter of that “thing” the Arab men are famous about? There was an uproar of a laughter. Ladies just smiled but had their minds implanted with some mischievous thoughts.

And Ela’s friends could hardly wait to see her after the honeymoon. They invited her to a popular coffee shop and asked her what happened during the first night. They asked her a very difficult question. With her height at 5’1 and small body frame, how good was it to ride with a camel in the desert? “Exciting and full of fun,” was all she could say. “Is it a painful and a bloody encounter with Aladdin,” asked Julia a single parent. But Minerva asked the most intriquing question; was it really long and as fat as the Arabian “dangling thing?” All laughed again.

Ela had chosen not to give a categorical response. She wanted them to think that Amado at 5’10 has a penis as long as ten inches. The truth, Amado’s penile size is no more than 5 inches. And she’s grateful about it. Otherwise with a diameter of a  regular flurescent bulb, it could have been more painful and damaging on her part should his thing exceeded 5 inches in length. She could still remember how painful it was when Amado inserted and thrusted his penis on her vagina. She did not see it but felt the blood coming out from her vagina going down her legs to her buttocks. She could still feel  how his small but fat penis slowly but vigorously sliding through her vaginal canal and ruptured her hymen.

Ela could not ask for more even if Amado’s weapon even it was only short, it’s  fat, hard, and hot. She had already experienced prolonged multiple orgasms  which brought her to  heaven with tightly closed eyes several times. If being an Arabo means vitality and fertility regardless of size, Amado in effect can also be considered  a Pinoy Arabo. On the other hand, Amado is more than lucky enough to marry Ela, she’s not only pretty and innocent, she’s also kind, loving, and intelligent.

Ela and Amado are now the happy and proud  parents of  two wondeful children; a girl and a boy.

Yaya, What Happened to my Lolo?

February 23, 2009

Tatlong taon nang yaya ni Angel si Lucing, 38 years old at tubong probinsiya. Pinsan siya ni Emy na nanay ni Angel. Si Angel naman ay magpo-four years old na sa darating na Mayo. Tatay niya si mang Manoling  na anak naman ni lolo Agustin sa pagkabinata.

Parehong nasa abroad ang mga magulang ni Angel at tanging si lolo Agustin lang at si yaya Lucing ang nagaalaga sa kanya. Ngunit masuwerte si Angel dahil mabait ang kanyang yaya at maalalahanin naman ang kanyang lolo na siyang tumatayong guardian niya sa ngayon.

Parang nandiyan lang sa tabi-tabi ang  tatay at nanay ni Angel dahil sobra pa sa tunay na anak ang turing sa kanya ni lolo niya at yaya. Masaya silang tatlo, laging namamasyal sa park at kung minsan ay nanonood pa ng sine sa mga malls.

Excited naman lagi si Lucing kapag namamasyal sila nina lolo at Angel. Bukod sa nalilibang siya marami pa siyang nakikitang mga guwapong binata na pinagpapantasyahan. Ito ang pangunahing dahilan kung bakit niya nilisan ang kanilang probinsiya hindi upang makipagsapalaran sa Maynila kundi maghanap ng asawa at ni anino ay walang lumalapit na lalaki sa kanya sa probinsiya.

Ni hindi rin siya pinapansin noong una ng 70 years old na si lolo Manoling. Bukod sa hindi naman siya kagandahan ay napakaitim pa niya. Bagamat sexy siya at may assets siya sa dibdib, may putok naman itong si yaya. Ngunit ang lahat ng mga kapintasan ni yaya ay unti-unting nawala nang matuto siyang maligo at magsabon ng husto pagkatapos maghilod, maglagay ng deodorant sa kilikili at gumamit ng siyampo sa buhok. Amoy mabango siya lagi at unti-unti na ring kumikinis ang kanyang balat. Hindi lang iyan dinala pa siya ni Emy sa isang sikat na beauty parlor at dito nila inareglo ang mukha at balat ni yaya. Resulta, gumanda siya at hindi nakilala ni lolo noong una.

Unti-unti na ring nagkakainterest sa kanya si lolo. Pumuti na siya kaya panay panay naman ng sulyap ng matanda sa kanyang mga binti at dibdib. Nainlab na si lolo sa kanya. Pero may karibal siya, mga sikyu at kontratista na nagtatrabaho sa subdivision. Panay papogi naman ni lolo baka sakaling magustuhan siya. Ngunit dedma lang si yaya sa kanyang pagpapahiwatig. Si Goriong sikyu kasi ang napupusuhan ni yaya na maging kabiyak. Tagilid kung ganon si lolo kaya naman panay ang simba ng matanda sa Baclaran para mawalala ang sikyung nanliligaw kay yaya at nang mapunta ito sa kanya. 

Umobra ang mga panalangin ni lolo. Nasisante ang sikyu dahil sa pambubuso sa mga dalagang naliligo sa swimming pool ng subdivision. Natuwa si lolo, hindi lang iyan may bunos pa siya. Nang magkasakit si Angel hiniling pa niya ang kanyang lolo at yaya na matulog silang tatlo sa kuwarto ng kanyang mama at papa. Walang nagawa ang dalawa kundi pagbigyan ang may sakit na bata. At hindi lang iyan hiniling pa sa dalawa na maghalikan naman sila gaya nang ginagawa ng kanyang mama at papa bago sila matulog. Natupad ang hiling ng bata. Natupad din ang pangarap ni lolo at si yaya naman ay natataranta dahil ngayon lang siya nakatikim ng halik mula kay Adan.

Si lolo Agustin naman ay kaagad nang nagtapat ng pag-ibig kay Lucing ngunit hindi siya sinagot ng yaya. Pero matiyaga si lolo, kapag nanonood sila ng sine at nasa mall ay panay naman ng bili nito ng regalo para kay yaya. At nahulog nga ang loob ni yaya kay lolo Agustin. Kay lolo niya naranasan ang unak halik, ang mga maiinit na yakap, ang pagexplore sa kanyang dibdib at pati na rin doon sa dulo ng kanyang paraiso. Na kay lolo na lahat ang alas maliban lang ang pagpasok ng kanyang ahas sa paraiso dahil restricted area pa ito hanggat hindi sila ikinakasal.

Ngunit matindi talaga ang tawag ng pangangailangan kaya lahat na nang nalalaman sa pagpapabagsak ng kaharian ni Saddam ay ginawa na ni lolo. Ngunit wala pa ring suwerte. Pero hindi siya pinanghinaan ng loob.

Minsan ay pinasok niya si yaya sa kuwarto nito pagkatapos maligo. Pinagbibigyan naman siya ni yaya sa halikan, yakapan, at pagpitas ng mga prutas sa kanyang dibdib. Ngunit sa pagkakataong ito ay hindi na siya nakapalag pa nang hilahin pababa ni lolo ang kanyang panty at ihiga siya sa kama. Nadarang na rin si yaya, come what may. Nasa akto na sila ng love making nang biglang nagising si Angel at pumasok sa kuwarto ni yaya. Nagulat ang dalawa, mabuti na lang at nadampot ni yaya ang tuwalya at nagawang takpan ang maseselang bahagi ng kanyang katawan. Pero si lolo Manoling bagamat naisoot niya kaagad ang pantalon, baliktad naman ito. Nasa puwitan pa niya ang zipper.

“Yaya what happened to my lolo, how come he does not know how to put on his pants,” ang tanong ni Angel.

“Angel langgam pasok to the puwet of your lolo so he baliktad his pants to alis the langgam,” ang palusot naman ni yaya.

Noong nakaraan na buwan ay dumating ang mga magulang ni Angel mula sa trabaho nila sa abroad. Isinumbong ang nakita niya sa dalawa. Kinausap ng masinsinan ni Emy ang biyenan at tinanong kung handa niyang pakasalan ang kanyang pinsan. Oo kaagad ang sagot ni lolo. Si mang Manoling naman ay kinausap si lolo Agustin kung handa na niyang i-give up pa ang kanyang pagkabinata, and the answer is yes.

Kaya naman nilakad na ng mag-asawa ang mga papeles ng dalawa para magpakasal na. At hindi naman sila nabigo. Sa sala ni Judge Macario  ikinasal ang dalawa. Si lolo Agustin naman ay feeling young siya, panay ang pagpapakondisyon at tiyak na mapapalaban na siya ng husto. At wala nang makakapigil pa sa kanilang panggigigil ni yaya.

Honeymoon night, aktong susunkitin na lang ni lolo agustin ang mansanas ni Eva nang may napansin ito.

“May kasama tayo sa kuwarto?”

“Oo honey, hindi kasi makatulog si Angel na hindi niya ako katabi.”

Napaiyak na lang si lolo sa sobrang galit at pagkadismaya.

“Yaya what happened to my lolo, he is crying.”

“I am crying because there is langgam in my pants,” ang sagot ng lolo na nagdadabog.